More Language Learning Self Study Notes

Ok, more like comments, maybe. I always grab a couple of kids books and a grammar book from the library to start my study, if the first Harry Potter is, as it was with French, just too difficult to cut through the grammar in spite of the fact that I have all of the dialogue from the movies and most of the text from the first book (and much from the second, as well) memorized. In the case of Portuguese, reading a book that I do or don’t know is also frustrating because I cannot imagine the correct pronunciation as I read, so I need to switch far more frequently between reading a book for young readers, and taking notes from videos on pronunciation, while my usual tactic of using Netflix or YouTube’s CC’s to relax with a film in the target language is not at all, in the case of Portuguese, relaxing, because I have to pay so much attention to the pronunciation of the words I am reading, when they are indeed actually the same words being spoken, which is not at all the case anymore with the Closed Captions, unfortunately. Even though I get the gist of most of the words, both reading a new book, and while watching a well-known and beloved series, I am being frustrated by not immediately catching the pronunciations of words, leaving me still reading the Captions more than actually just being able to listen. Spanish, French, and even Turkish, were all far easier in that respect, although I do not have to do nearly as much work in memorizing verb forms in Portuguese, as they are very similar, in general, to the Spanish forms, and occasionally Portuguese phrases feel like a Spanish translation of a French phrase, so that while this language is a fascinating twist on both surrounding languages, as I think of Spanish and French, due to the placement of the Iberian Peninsula, the grammar is not difficult, but the pronunciation is astoundingly challenging! This would make this particular language better suited, even for a person like me who prefers to learn at my own pace, for learning in a classroom, or at least with a native speaker from the region in which one intends to settle down. Nevertheless, the usual tools of films, books, online videos and the occasional use of mobile phone apps for downtime when the bus actually has the free WiFi available, do help make the process possible, and progress happen, with enough persistence. Getting out of English is really difficult, though, and that is making it easier to forget my old practice of writing in my journal in several languages. I’ve also having nightmares from my current work in French, which is not helping me, although they have stopped as I finally get a bit more rest from the rotating shifts, this weekend. I am also seeing a certain level of cognitive decline, which of course is affected also by stress, lack of rest, new environment and new job, working in several languages while learning a new local language, so I do understand that it may not be age related, but I feel myself thinking more slowly, catching on more slowly, tiring more easily, and yet, interestingly, understanding things more deeply, than twenty or even ten or five years ago. I feel far more empathetic and visceral understanding, now, of what older people have made comments on years ago, for which I tried but failed to have much empathy back at that time. There is a bone-weariness, and a certain level of too-tired-to think anymore, tiredness, that only seems to hit one after 50 years of age. And now, while I no longer look forward to greeting that Reaper with joy, I find myself finally feeling that after a lifetime of struggle, and many years of refusal to give up out of a sense of duty, I can finally say that I have done my utmost, and although I keep doing my best to do The Work of which Toni Morrison spoke, and to contribute as and while I can to finding ways to make this world a safer and less harsh place for all of us, as with Project Do Better, I believe that I have done what I could to contribute, and now I will not go ashamed to meet my honored women who went before me, like grandma Marie Johnson, or great aunt Sister Felix Manzilla, or great great grandfather Wayne Anthony Manzilla. While I am tired, I will not give up, and yet, I feel that I have done what I could to leave some learning tools, some ideas that were not being discussed as far as I know, and thus, new, ideas, and to stand in harm’s way for at least one other person in her moment of need. And I continue working to learn new things, as I always urged my students to do, not just in mathematics or languages, but in any and every way possible. So, happy Day of St. J. (a local holiday in Porto, Portugal).