This makes it readable!
🙂
I still need more eyes on this (the now published book is here…) 4th Draft, if Beta Readers would like to volunteer. Dying to finish and release this book so I can get back to doing my own personal part of Project Do Better: writing historical fiction!!
*****************
Click here to read, if you like:
Narrative and Prose Nonfiction,
or Historical Fiction Serial Stories
Shira
Shira Destinie Jones’ work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Context, Thought, and Learning: ShiraDest Offers Project Do Better 
Reblogged this on Ned Hamson's Second Line View of the News.
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Thank you, Ned!
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Stiglitz…
Mentioning economic systems, but then arguing for gov. Sys. Change, left out economic systems!!
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distrib. done
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Is the preface fully justified? The left margin, second paragraph, looks ragged in PDF.
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it is, now
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“… creatively, intellectually, athletically, etc.”
Should have a question mark.
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done
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Preface:. “…our society then would have the foundation…”
Rm then
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done
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End of the preface:. Not just “every vulnerable person”
Every person.
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done
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The introduction needs to be fully justified: right margin is ragged…
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done
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Clean, now.
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At very start of Chapter 3, check alignment: right margin is ragged
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Ok now.
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New title idea:
Project Do Better: A Human Kindness Manifesto for Communities, in Four Phases
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Kindness Manifesto in four parts
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Human Rights pledge, pg 75.
Near end of chapter 3…
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“… crushing critiques to creating tools.”
creative
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“The details of how we could get to a place in which we can safely make this happen for us all will be discussed in chapter Nine.”
What is wrong with this sentence?
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Umm, I see nothing wrong with it.
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“… importance of such availability of all of society.”
… to all of society.
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Check for instances of Porto Alegre vs. Porto Alegro…
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“… whenever and for as long they are needed.”
Fix sentence
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“Early Years of Phase IV … #FreeRoomAndRice…”
Check margins…
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“…ever greater levels of responsibilities…”
responsibility…
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“…ever greater levels of responsibilities…”
esponsibility…
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“Every person who succeeds in becoming a Serving Adult should…”
Spacing
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“… commitment to serve as a lawmaker…”
Cite Colin Powell’s autobiography on difficulty of political postings?
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P. 120: change “…in particular, a UBi,”
To
especially a ubi
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P. 129: connect with the End Cash Bail & related movements…
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P. 140: “… from all walks of life. Education and…”
Spacing
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Actually, this is a new paragraph.
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No it’s not.
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P. 140/289: Equips, this is for you!
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Oh, E-Quips, where are you, dear Librarian (USN, ret.)?
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Replace “…cook an egg…”
With
“… prepare a meal…”
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Everywhere
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done
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“…any resident could freely access all academic journal articles, for example. Advocacy…”
Spacing…
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done
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Why does Paige 218 remind me of JJ’s slip of the tongue back on Good Times when they went to dinner with a lady who was rumored to eat dog food because she was elderly and couldn’t afford to buy food so as he’s asked to say grace he opens the prayer with:
“The Lord is my German Shepherd…”
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I wonder how many people remember this scene, or this show?
More to the point, I wonder if anyone remembers how terrible it was hearing about old folks not having enough to eat.
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P. 239 will definitely interest Prison Abolition folks.
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David ben Alexander should be interested in page 267.
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İf Dr. George Rawson is still around, from GWU, he might be interested in page 273.
Voting may be a vote for the system, but I never saw him propose an alternative system.
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This post needs a link to the published book at the start.
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